From: Jr. on
This is a rebuttal to Casey At The Bat written by that "Loveable Lush"
Foster Brooks

Riley On The Mound
Foster Brooks - 1978
If I were to say to you
That Riley was me name
I expect that you might say,
So what's your claim to fame?.

I don't suppose you've heard of me
Their ain't much doubt about that
But I'm the guy who made 'em write
"Casey At The Bat".

I was on the mound that day
When Casey met his doom
I turned a very happy town
Into a state of gloom.

I'd heard about this guy a lot
A "hero" in Mudville town
And I decided right then and there
To make that bum a clown.

I remember the big game very well
We were leadin' four to two
Git 'em out just one more time
Was all I had to do .

Cooney was the first man up
And tried to start some trouble
When he lined a single to deep right field
But we nipped his stretch for a double .

Burrows was next in the batter's box
And drove one clear to the wall
He stumbled as he turned first base
And we beat 'im to second with the ball .

Two men out - Flynn was at bat
And he was about their worst
But I must've eased up 'cause he caught one
And wound up standin' on first .

Blakey came up and belted one
I got a little careless I reckon
Flynn was safe then on a slide to third
As Blakey pulled in at second

The roar that went up from the grandstand
Could be heard for twenty miles
Five thousand fans goin' stark ravin' mad
Their faces all covered with smiles

I knowed what it was that set 'em off
Their "Hero" was comin' to bat - ha ha ha
Ol' "Mighty Casey" was strollin' to the plate
But I could take care of that .

He wouldn't get lucky like Blakey and Flynn
On him I'd really bear down
Like I said before - I'm the guy
Swore to make the bum a clown

He tipped his cap and waved his hand
And that made the fans more wild
But it didn't bother me one little bit
I just stood there and smiled .

He'd been on twice on two bad calls
And once on a very close play
But here - it was time to go to work
And put this joker away .

I put me fast one just inside
And Casey let it go by
"Strike One!" the umpire screamed
And Casey didn't bat an eye .

Some of the fans started for the field
But stopped when Casey raised his hand
And I've always thought - if he hadn't done that
They might've torn down the bloomin' stand .

When the umpire called the next one a strike
I thought they'd chase 'im out of town
And it looked as though they might've too
If "Ol' Case" hadn't calmed 'em down .

The pressure was getting' to us both by now
I pulled me belt up a hitch
And let one go that had to be
Me number one "Sunday Pitch" .

Casey swung with all his might
He gave it all he had
And even though I struck 'im out
I couldn't help feelin' sad .

Sure, we won the pennant
But when I looked at the crowd
They all turned their backs on the "Great Casey"
As he walked away head bowed .

Now - All this took place many years ago
And ever since then we've read
About poor ol' Casey strikin' out
It should've been about me instead

So when you guys are sittin' around
Jawin' about our favorite game
Remember Casey if you want
But it was Riley put 'im to shame